The Official Tour Blog of Cobra Golf

Nov 19, 2009 - 06:01 PM

Cobra Staff member and Golf Entertainer/World Long Drive Champion, Dan Boever, is visiting Iraq on a goodwill tour to meet with the troops. This is the second in a series of updates from his travels.

November 19, 2009 “Dude, listen to me, you’re gonna want to take three things for sure on your trip.”

This bit of wisdom shot straight from the mouth of friend and two-time USO participant Brian Pavlet.

“Get you some good boots because there are rocks everywhere and if you have on tennis shoes you might break your neck. Make sure you take a good flashlight because in the middle of the night when you gotta use the bathroom, you ain’t gonna want to walk 20 feet from your warm, comfy bed to your master bathroom like you do back home. You are going to have to go outside to the latrine and there is a better than good chance it will be pitch black. So without a good flashlight you may end up someplace you don’t want to be.

“And lastly, you’re gonna want to take some baby wipes.”

Of course, he offered that last bit of advice with a big smile on his face. I guess deep down I knew what he might be insinuating but I thought I would make sure. “Why is that, O’ Great General from above?” I asked.

“You’re not going to find the facilities very Ritz Carlton-like, so just take it.”

“What if I just do a 10-day fast while I am over there?” I asked.

“Just do it,” Brian said. “You’ll thank me later.”

“Is there anything else I need to know, Lt. Hygiene?” I asked. “What if I took diapers, then I wouldn’t need the flashlights?”

“Yeah, but you would still need the baby wipes so just man up and quit whining,” he said. “You haven’t even spent your first night and you are already talking back to a superior officer.”

So with Brian’s advice in the front of my mind I took to the streets of Springfield, Mo., to buy the items I thought I might need. The first stop was our local army surplus store. I wandered the isles trying to decide whether the pants I had picked out were the kind of pants real soldiers would wear or the kind that would make me look totally out of place.

(Yeah, like the scared, confused look on my face won’t be enough.)

I settled on a cool passport holder to go around my neck, two belts – one camo and one black – some type of sniper mask/cap and seven flashlights. No way I wasn’t gonna have a good one.

Next stop, command central. You guessed it, Wal-Mart. I went straight to the boots section. Not being a guy who enjoys trying on 10 different boots, I opted for second pair I put on. Done! The $25 price tag may not qualify them as “good boots,” but I had to save up for baby wipes. I wear tennis shoes 365 days a year so I can’t be expected to make a good choice in boots. I will learn soon enough whether I made a good choice or not. I am quite sure the troops will let me know. It is a good thing my wife wasn’t there. I would have had to match colors with all my outfits.

[caption id="attachment_1477" align="alignleft" width="540" caption="Dan Boever suits up for his trip to Iraq"][/caption]

I then grabbed 10 different things from the travel isle. I got portable plastic travel containers, a clothing suction bag, two toiletry bags, a rolling back pack with lots of cool pouches and an international electrical adapter. I also bought a DVD player along with assorted scan disc memory cards and six tubs of baby wipes. Hey, I don’t know what might be too much and I don’t know what might not be enough. I’m just following orders. What I don’t use, I will sell to pay for all the excess nonsense I have purchased for this trip.

My favorite part of the whole shopping experience came as I was checking out. After some young lad had scanned his fifteenth straight travel-related item he looked up at me and said, “Goin’ on a trip?” Immediately I had 50 can-you-be-that-stupid comebacks race into my mind. But I took the high road and instead.

“No, we still have an outhouse and with winter coming I want to be prepared.”

Without hesitating he looked at me and said, “Good thinking.”

I bet I could sell him a whole case of baby wipes!

I fly from Springfield, Mo., to Washington D.C., tomorrow as the clock speeds towards a Friday night liftoff to the Persian Gulf. It is now 48 hours and counting.

Thanks for following along.